This Is What Happens When Your Friend Is a Bartender

Over the years we have struck up a good friendship with one of the . bartenders at Clearwater Beach. We love to visit him, but he thinks love is more rum in the Rum Runner. So this is going to be a short post because I am very buzzed and very sunburned. 

I made the mistake of spending at least an hour in the deep end of the pool with my friend, Connie. I did not use any sunscreen first. 

I resemble a tomato.

That is about it. Hurray for rum!!!!


The Next Person Who Says, “Is It Hot Enough for You?”, Will Be Summarily Executed!

Yes, it is hot enough for me. Beyond enough. Probably 20F hotter than I could possibly enjoy. On the good side, everywhere we are going to be today will be inside, and our AC is still chugging along. This is a minor miracle in itself, because the last two times we came down here, it did not work.

I am not really complaining, merely whining. Hey, I brought my Mustang down here so I can drive down here in the fall and winter with the top down. If I did that in Delaware, 15 inches of snow would fall directly on the driver’s seat. 

I am an Army Brat. Although it’s been years since I held a ration card or walked onto an Army post, it affected my life so profoundly, I feel proud to say that I had that experience. OK, enough expounding. When I was living in Korea and my dad was a commanding officer, I did something with one of my two best friends that might have gotten my dad written up. Seriously. Back then kids could indeed do something that would get their dad reassigned to some place like Guam.

Back to the snow and Korea. Barbi and I were typical 15 year olds. We were inseparable. We egged each other on. It starts snowing in October in Seoul. We walked around base a lot because for some reason we both felt the Teen Club was too scary to ever enter. 

We were walking to our homes, when we saw a Military Police jeep running and empty, in front of the PX. For whatever not-too-bright reason, we began FILLING the jeep with snow as fast as could! We had both seats full up to the roof before the two MPs came running out of the PX, cursing at us. We went running home, absolutely joyous. The MPs were still shoveling out the jeep when we disappeared down the hill to safety. 

The reason for this little memory. I am a winter person. I like ice and snow. Stay cool out there. 


89F Today, But The Heat Index Made My Feet Melt

I am not a fan of hot weather. So, what pray tell am I doing with a beach house in FL, and why am I down at the end of June when it’s so hot and the heat index makes it so much worse???

My husband is a wuss. He is a bit obsessive about his health, and tend to whine. I am a stoic, so I am less than sympathetic. He told me he thought he had a blood clot in his leg. I really didn’t think he did, so I dragged him to one of those free standing medical aid places, and the doctor said he didn’t have a clot. I knew it!!!

Turned out the doc was wrong. He had one from his ankle to knee. He had to be on a blood thinner for months. He had 3 mini strokes; he was in the hospital all the time. One doctor was afraid he might have stomach cancer. I was scared to death, freaking out, and very guilty about not believing him.. We went down to Clearwater for the Phillies pre-season games that year, as we have for many years

So there we were in Florida for the games, paying a fortune at the Clearwater Hilton. I honestly thought this might be it. Someone suggested we buy a mobile home, so we picked out the ugliest one available.

He did not die, he did not have cancer and now we have this house in what seems to be the Devil’s Waiting Room. I am very glad he is alive, but my favorite season is fall, and then winter. The seasons here are Hot, Hotter, Hottest and Slightly Less Hot. I may be hot here, but I am glad I still have The Big Guy. Oh, and the house looks much better without the cigar stains on the walls.

More on that later.



The Car is Officially a Florida Ride!


Florida does not have yearly inspections. Ever. So, even if your car is 20 years old, has the wheezing exhaust of an 80 year old, it’s fine down here. I went into the tax collector’s office and all the clerk did was go out to my car and make sure the VIN matched with my title. In about 2 months I get my plate. I went with 5unny. Yes, that is a 5, but from a distance it does look like an S.

We own a mobile home park in a 40+ park. it’s really nice, but many people here are old and cranky. I am sure the average age is mid-70s. The residents seem to enjoy reporting us for various things. Now it’s parking in the street. No one is allowed to park in the street anymore. No way, no how. Even company has to park in your driveway. Sure, it makes the streets look nice, but really. I will comply; if I have too.

I am sure when I said mobile home park, people said really? I didn’t think Patty seemed trashy! It’s actually a very nice park and is just like a normal development accept for the fact they are mobile homes.

Last year, we made our neighbors cranky by painting our house aqua and coral. Maisie didn’t talk to us for a month! My house, my colors. It’s my party, and I can be obnoxious if I want to. The house colors are perfect for Florida.

That’s it for now. I am still tired from the trip.

Oh Lord, I’m Stuck In Old Clearwater Again!

Welcome to Clearwater

It’s 11:13, we’re here in Clearwater, and I am tired, sore and cranky. Sports cars seem to shrink in size the longer you sit in them. We also stopped at every Bealls from SC to FL, and filled the car up with more crap.The low point of the trip: getting a $200 ticket in Virginia for driving in a HOV lane. First of all, I had never heard of that acronym before. It means high occupancy vehicle. Someplace before Richmond, there were two lanes open with no trucks. We drove into them, thinking they were carpool lanes. When we saw flashing lights up ahead, we figured it was an accident. No, it was VA State Troopers ticketing out of state drivers for having less than three passengers. They have a law between 4:30 and 6:30 PM you need three passengers in the car to drive in the HOV lanes. No signs, nothing. I figured out that they were targeting out of staters because VA has front license plates. They let VA drivers with only 1 passenger in the cars whiz on by. They must figure they pay enough state tax. Not happy. 

The house looks great except for the houseplants I put outside. The guy who waters our plants must have thought watering the potted plants was optional, so he just let them die. 

We are registering the car tomorrow. Cars registered in  Florida have do not have to get inspected. Ever. I am sure there are a lot of cars (and ancient drivers) driving around that shouldn’t be on the road. 

I’ll be more amusing tomorrow after I rest up. 


I Don’t Believe We’ve Met

Thank you so much to everyone who decided to follow or like me after only two posts. Quite the confidence booster! I am making the three day drive down to Florida tomorrow to switch cars. I have a Volvo wagon that is at the Florida beach house, and I have a Mustang here in DE. It makes sense to me to have the convertible aleady down there when we go back in the fall. The Mustang is practically Franken Car for its move to FL! In the past two weeks I have bought it a new cloth roof, four new Z rated tires, and new brakes. 

I am going to be registering the Mustang in FL, so if you have any good ideas for a vanity late let me know. Florida has 104 different license plates you can select from! I’d like to get the Endless Summer one I posted below. 

I need a five letter word that either has to do with the beach or sunshine. It seems everyone down there has a vanity plate, so I am having a hard time picking a word I want on the plate.

MVSTANG (yes, that’s a V because the U was taken)


Oh, and I’m very pleased to meet you!

I’m Patty.

I Love the Clearwater Police FB Pages!!!

The Clearwater Police have recently been publishing videos from the traffic cameras on the main intersections. Gulf to Bay is a main road that starts at the Gulf of Mexico, and takes you to the Tampa Bay. Neat, huh? Not really. I think half the people in Pinellas County should not be driving if you take a look at this video.

In this video, a car from the right side of the screen moves forward to make an illegal left turn. A motorcyclist, who has the right of way, runs into the car. What happens next is amazing! The motorcyclist was uninjured. Don’t worry, I plan on publishing more of these videos, but this one is my favorite.

4 AM Seems to be an Outstanding Time to Start A Blog

I have always thought myself a literary genius. As I’ve gotten older, my ego has mellowed out, and I’ve come to realize I am not a writer. Letters to the editor, principal, or therapist do not count. For years, I have made various attempts to  write something humorous enough that others would be thrilled for the opportunity to read. It’s harder than I had imagined. I feel very dull and uninteresting, when I get my fingers on these keys, yet, I know I am not.  I’ve started blogs on other sites, and I’ve never gotten past the selecting of the name of the blog. I should stop now! I’ve already excelled! Now I can go back downstairs and lie down until it’s about 10 AM and I can pretend I slept all night.

I have been a stellar insomniac since my early 20s. I started taking sleeping pills in the last five years. I prefer to say I am habituated to them rather than hooked. I’ve never upped the dose, so that’s a good thing. I also don’t fall asleep with them.

My doctor switched me to a new brand, and I decided in my infinite wisdom, to cut the pill in half after a week of sleeping until 2PM.  I am sure the half pill is enough, but my brain is trying to explain to me that I’ve gotten a full pill all week, so why stop now? Try to avoid focusing on the terrible grammar. I am a lifetime member of the Grammar and Spelling Police, but remember, it’s 4:09 AM and I have not slept since early yesterday.

Good night for now. Tomorrow, I will attempt to figure out what I have done with the photographs!